Trooping

In 2014, I decided to get involved in my first "troop". This is when members of the MK or UK garrison meet up in armour to raise money for charities.

Before being allowed to troop in armour, you have take part as crew to learn what happens at the event. So, on 25.01.14 I was summoned to meet with the MK garrison leadership.

I managed not to make a tit of myself. Hopefully !

25.01.14 - I attended a meeting of the MK Garrison at the Marsh Harrier pub in St Ives. I walked in to find the great & good sitting in a circle, and was made to suffer the indignity of sitting on a low chair (presumably to reinforce my lack of status) whilst I answered questions thrown at me in the round : Should a costume that is screen accurate be allowed when the rules state a different criteria ? Is there such a thing as a fat Fett ? Why is there a greater variety of products from the machines in the men's toilets ? The top table continually changed shape in an attempt to confuse, seemingly every time the piped music stopped they changed seats. They even tried to throw me by having two of the star chamber adopt (frankly ridiculous) American accents !

How long this grilling went on while a variety of alcoholic libations were consumed I cannot be sure. Safe to say that I came through it apparently unscathed, even though I had difficulty concentrating over the shouts of 'Armageddon' or 'proper saucy', or references to people putting their nuts on the table, and was invited back for further examination the next day at a different location. I only hoped that the promised addition to those ranged against me would not prove my downfall.

26.01.14 - Different day, different venue. Reconvening at the Manor, Alconbury, I found that the number of inquisitors had grown, and they had added a young looking Kenny Baker. Surprised to see him there, pretending to be the offspring of one of those with the faux American accents. I was not to be too distracted, even managing the surprise dexterity test involving cooking your own food on hot stones, although why I would require basic survival skills I could not work out. Suffice to say that if I ever have to troop in a desert armed with a steak knife and some mystery meat I will acquit myself adequately. The padawan next to me was causing confusion (and some distaste) by preparing an offering of cooked sauces. Not a success.

The trial part 2 passed successfully, many congratulations were bestowed upon my in the docking bay behind the pub, with promises to meet up at the first scheduled event. Result !

Some pictures of the above do exist, but due to the matriarch having issues with secrecy they may never be seen. Unless they're of a random motorbike.

22.02.14 - Saturday afternoon, and I was summoned to Wycombe Air Park to take part in my first troop. I was to provide security at a 50th birthday party for a businessman. The fun began when I arrived, to get a text from SWMBO (Julia) that her car had broken down and she was stuck on the M4, so unable to attend. I was to contact someone I had never met called Sue, who would instruct me on my duties. I found her inside one of the hangars, she introduced me to her partner-in-crime Andy (team photographer). Luckily for my quivering breast Jeff (from the MKG) and his wife were also in attendance, so I knew someone else. Instead of merely crewing, I was to use my TIE reserve outfit and actually interact with the public. Late arrival John turned up, so Sue, John, Jeff and I ended up getting changed in a yurt (a tent, which was supposed to be used by the bearded lady, long story), Sue into a scout trooper, John into Darth Vader and Jeff into Boba Fett. Once changed, we took up post in front of a set of arrivals gates. Our host gave us our instructions, we were to interrogate selected arrivals, place their belongings onto trays which went through a pretend scanner that and extremely bored Vader was manning. In a part that could have been written for me, I played 'officious imperial officer', talk about typecasting !

First 'customer' was the host's mother, who Jeff first inspected before allowing to come to me. I proceeded to terrorise her, passing her bag to Sue for scanning. She took it all in good spirit, and went past Vader into the drinks area. Thus began the evening.

The host and his helper, dressed as New York cops, passed guests either to us in the VIP lane, into a queue for suspected vegetarians (manned by a boy in a bacon suit) or into the mid-life crisis lane, manned by a topless policeman and 2 slutty policewomen. Also there was a Johnny Depp lookalike who was in the receiving area out front. We worked the crowd for the evening, meeting several celebrities from the motoring world, and posing for pictures as required. Especially with Johnny Depp ! Once they were all in we were allowed to change and join in the celebrations. After making use of the yurt again, Jeff and John left, leaving Sue, Andy & I to eat and drink in splendor.

   

26.04.14 - So enthused by my first go, I volunteered for the Corsham family fun day. Held in a school hall, this annual event attracts some surprising guests for a small place. This year, Dave Prowse (Darth Vader) and Virginia Hey (Zhan from Farscape) were signing autographs and chatting to the public. I turned up to help with the MKG stand, and immediately got roped in to help directing the queue. Imperial officers can always get a job. I spent the day assisting with getting costumes on & off, guiding a tusken raider (limited visibility) and answering questions like "why ?". Highlights of the day were meeting my first monkey trooper (Darren) and being caught with my hand down the shorts of a Gamorrean by a mother with young child in tow.

 05.05.14 - So I decided to go for something a bit bigger. I joined the 99th Garrison, based in t'North, and travelled up to Burnley to crew at an event held at Burnley FC's ground, Turf Moor. I went up the night before, and met quite a few people on my way out to the car next morning who were also going to the event. A friendly lot. At the ground I managed to find the correct entrance and then hunted for Jim, boss of the 99th. I helped set up the stand, then went to assist with suiting up. Not knowing anyone, I wandered around watching people getting dressed, and making notes of how to do my costume (still in progress). Some things that I'd seen in pictures suddenly made sense. I assisted with Dengar putting on his legs armour, as he couldn't bend over. A thing to remember when I suit up. Then I helped an At-At driver with his armour and helmet. As most of the other crew had been allocated to costumers, I tagged along with a young Princess Leia, Boushh, Dengar and Boba Fett. I was aware of the sight limitations of most helmets, but Boushh could not see anything that wasn't in her direct eyeline. Therefore, I was her eyes. We spent a lot of time working the queue of people waiting to get into the event, I would approach people at random and ask if they would like a picture taken with any of the costumers. Great fun, especially coaxing young children to come and stand with the scary bounty hunters. Luckily, they took to Leia immediately and seemed to enjoy it. Strange how there were as many adults wanting pictures as children. At lunch I chatted to my first femtroopers. I had never seen female stormtroopers apart from in pictures on the interweb, and these were slightly scary to be honest. Lady Vader, a couple of 'normal' troopers and a shadow trooper. However, they were great to talk to, I helped Dengar back into his costume, then went back outside with my group of bounty hunters for more of the queue and pictures. Once the queue was over, I guided Boushh around the display hall, her hand on my shoulder, it was like one of those trust exercises.  Then back to the dressing room for the disrobing. It's surprising how easily some of the costumes come apart, sometimes accidentally admittedly. Finally, it was time for the group picture.

Later it was announced that almost £5000 was raised.

11.05.14 - Bedford. Invasion Beales. The first troop organised by the Bedford Garrison. And the first outing for my newly-completed TIE pilot costume. Not nervous at all.

 

 

 

We collected around £150 from the generous people in Bedford.

16-18/05/14 - CollectorManiaMK 2014. The MKG host a stand, and I'm crewing/trooping with them. I crewed on Friday morning, walking the others round and making sure that they didn't trip over or ignore any photo requests. Then I suited up for the rest of the weekend, and had a lot of fun. And made loads of new friends.

          

OK, this could go on forever if I name every event that I attend. Safe to say, my first year of trooping has been eventful (pun intended). I've met quite a lot of nice people, who are friendly and generous with their time and knowledge. I've travelled further afield around the UK than I would have thought of outside of a holiday, I wouldn't have managed to get as far as I have without meeting people who are as mad as I, if not madder. I know that I have spent what some would consider to be a large sum of money indulging myself, but I've had a good laugh and all the groups I have been out with have raised significant sums for the various charities that they represent. I'll carry on until the body gives out, then I will find some other way to help them. More pictures of me enjoying myself:

MS trooping in Wolverhampton with Aid & Sarah            With my big brother, Seth, in Manchester at Christmas

 

Discovering that the Tardis isn't bigger on the inside             Stopping for a drink in Telford